SAIL

I’ve been trying to get November's blog post out of me for several weeks.There has been so much that has transpired since my post from last month.  I had an entire post that was prepared and ready to launch, but I just kept feeling like the timing was off. The reoccurring idea in my mind, was simply to rewrite the entire thing and just get a couple of things out of me, and off of my chest.  Writing has always been a coping mechanism for me. I’ve always been the girl with a journal. My journal became a safe space for my thoughts and my ability to boldly express them. "God, Love And", this blog, exists for that purpose as well. Sometimes you just have to lay things out, and hope that God sees fit to use them for his glory to bless someone else. Here we go! 

I’ve set sail. I moved. I have an inkling that my courageous ten year old self, that dreamed to live in several different countries and states, is finally getting her wish. I’ve accepted the fact that my career choices will require me to be migrant, with the ability to adjust, and adapt to different markets, and cultures specific to each location I’m designated to serve. Even still, Raleigh will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. Raleigh has been officially added to the designated list of cities that I would consider settling down and starting a family in. As I surveyed the last two plus years in the Triangle, I can see how much I’ve grown and transformed into a stronger, fearless woman.

It is evident, that because of my time in Raleigh, that I am able to set sail into new waters and into new levels. God has led me into a season of sailing with the Pirates. East Carolina University Pirates actually. Making the decision to completely uproot my life for my career is nothing new to me, but this go around has been met with tumultuously rocky waves. Setting sail into this chapter with the ECU Pirates was met with one obstacle after another. Yet, through these obstacles, God has always provided safe haven from the storm.

Even still, I’m favored by God. The saying “Favor ain't fair!” is so incredibly true. The first several weeks during my move in October, were incredibly hectic and I found myself questioning if this move was the “right” move. But what I found in my questioning is the simple fact that the boat doesn’t stop here. You have to just keep sailing until you reach your final destination. Sometimes we have to get over ourselves, our feelings and lack of sleep, and just keep paddling along, trusting that the journey towards the destination is undeniably an important piece of the overall lesson. At some point in our lives, each of us will have to make the choice to accept the position, and the season that we’re in. How do I pack up my life and move? Well, I've found that I resolve it within myself, to acknowledge the potential danger in the crashing waves just beyond the horizon. All the while, making the choice to keep sailing on, knowing that God has his hands on you and me, and will not let our boats come to ruin, by the pressure of the unforgiving waves of this world.

I’m tired. Perseverance requires a great amount of energy and effort. I remember walking through the cafeteria at Westerville North High School, catching a quick view of the crew team practicing their rowing on these machines in the hallway to prepare for a regatta. They were sweating and panting and pushing themselves to the absolute limit. I can’t tell you the first things about crew, but I could take a wild guess that their repetitive rowing over and over again on those machines definitely helped create some sort of muscle memory. This also has been true of this season that I’m in. Making the choice to wake up each morning, thank God for my ability to inhale, and get to rowing. Exercising my faith each day. Using the tools and wisdom I learned during my time in Raleigh, and as a result, day by day, getting close to my destination.

November is just about over, and if we’re being overly critical of this post, it’s technically 23 days late.  But through this blog, I’ve learned that nothing is late when God’s hands are in it. Every post comes together in its own time for its own purpose. In just a couple of days it will be my birthday, and I’ll celebrate a year of writing this blog. That’s amazing. But for this last week of November, I encourage you to join me, while I just focus on rowing through these last days of the month. You may also have waves that may be crashing up against what feels like a small, and hopeless boat, but just try to take each day, one day at a time. Digest what you can, and focusing on having a better day, the next. Sailing into the next chapter, with each row, closer to the destination, closer to understanding the lesson. 

FALLING

Sweater weather is upon us here in the city of oaks. I found myself vigorously digging through my closet to pull out those long sleeve friends that I haven't been acquainted with in several months. There’s a crisp hint of coolness in the air, and it brings forth flashbacks of Ohio. 2012, warm and cozy, nuzzled up in an arm chair on the second floor of Starbucks in Kent, Ohio. Staring out at the bare-leaved, snow covered trees through a frosted window. Watching as the cars glide by and the traffic lights change, while sipping on a caramel apple spice. There's something beautiful about the falling of the leaves. There’s beauty in the bare and nakedness of the trees. 

How incredibly strong and resilient are trees? My goodness. Full bloom in Spring and in Summer, showing out in all of their amorous beauty. The boldness of the green leaves, each brilliantly and intentionally serving their purpose providing food and nourishment for the tree. Then, like clockwork, the inevitable pushy house guest Fall arrives, beating down natures front door. Yet with elegance and grace, the tree accepts Fall’s pushiness, and surrenders to the unrelenting change of the seasons. The trees begin the process of letting go. The process of falling into Fall. 

I’m not sure what’s more miraculous, the fact that the tree produces it’s own chemicals to execute the falling of it’s own leaves, or the fact that the tree has the ability and the wherewithal to let go in that capacity in the first place. Each year, letting go of hundreds of leaves, parts of itself if you will, shifting into a completely different organism. God truly shows his love and attention to the details in His creation, in nature.

In most cases I find that I have the ability to let things go and accept the imminent act of falling that is required during this lifetime. In other cases, you can count on stubborn ol me to be the only tree sticking out like a sore thumb, still fully dressed in bold green leaves out of season. All the while, other trees have begun the process of changing into their next looks. Head to toe in stunning hues of apricot and crimson. When we avoid falling into predestined change and purpose for our lives, we risk being in the wrong look in the wrong season. Foolishly we strut down life’s runway, out of place. We too stick out like a sore thumb in a relationship, job, you name it, that just doesn't fit us anymore. We’d rather hold onto our leaves instead of letting them fall. Truth be told, we all have the ability to feel it in our spirits. We can feel it when some things need to fall off of us like the leaves do every year. When things just need to change. Anyone walking by our stubborn trees, all out of season and what not, would take one look and easily win the game of “Which one of these things don’t belong”. 

When we fall into new seasons, or when we allow people, places and things to naturally fall out of our lives, there’s often a residue of what was, left behind on our conflicted hearts. I had no idea that a little scar is left behind on the limbs of a tree where each leaf was attached before they were given permission to fall. It almost seems like God created every living thing to have some capacity of accepting change, as well as a unique capacity of creating it’s own process of memory. Did you know that God created the tree in such a way that it prepares itself for the falling of it’s own leaves? A tree produces its own chemical cocktail, and when the process is complete, the tree seals the deal and makes the cut, parting with each leaf. There is beauty that can be found in the falling of each leaf, because a little scar or “memory” if you will, is left behind. When our lives change, and we fall into the arms and very will of God to be led into our next assignment, we too are blessed with memories and lessons from the experiences we’ve walked through beforehand. Each memory and lesson equipping us for what is to come about along the road ahead.

“For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you”

— Isaiah 41:13

The beauty in falling, is the complete confidence that all things will fall into place and come together. As Christians, we have an unshakeable peace stored up inside of us. We know that there is no situation that we can find ourselves in that God will not use for our good, better yet, for his glory. We can fall with gladness, with an assurance that God has ordained the outcome, and will always provide his loving arms to catch us. Even through the tickle and leaping feeling in our bellies as our feet leave the floor that once served in our comfort, God has a plan to catch us and set our feet on solid ground.

We are all being prepared for our next assignment. Take this month to fall into the arms of God and trust that there's beauty in free falling into his will, into his plan. Wake up in the morning and surrender each day to what he has waiting for you. Minute by minute, hour by hour, agreeing in prayer to fall into his plans for the day, for the month, and for your life. Welcome October!

October 6th: Happy Birthday to my mother Karen, the woman responsible for all that I am.

With Love,

your ladybug