Dozens of cars in line trying to arrive at Pullman Yards in Atlanta, GA Saturday night, confirmed that I had arrived to Sephoria 2024.

My beautiful, compassionate best friend Julia Paz invited me to Sephoria this year with her family friend Julia! LOL. They drove all the way from Charlotte, NC to come and experience this event! Julia is the makeup girly of all makeup girlies. She knows her brands, her beauty tools, and who’s who when it comes to cosmetics. While I shop at Sephora, and I am also a make-up girly, my bestie Julia is on a WHOLE NOTHA LEVEL! In full transparency, I had no idea what I was about to experience and had completely underestimated how fabulous this event would be.

Once we filed into Pullman Yards we all received a large bag from the Sephora team, that became the vessel for all of the free product that I had NO IDEA we were getting!

Julia educated me, by explaining that Sephoria is like a “Cosmetic Trick or Treat”. I’m one of those adults who was not raised trick or treating due to religious beliefs. So you know when I heard this, I was like a kid in a candy shop. I realized this was my moment and a jolt of exhilaration hit me and we were off to the brand installations.

From Rare Beauty, Cay Skin, Maison Margiela, and Natasha Denonah to YSL, we visited about 20 different brand installations.

Me realizing that we are about to have the time of our lives at Sephoria 2024!

Fun is not a sufficient word to describe this experience. Imagine all the girly girls in Atlanta who LOVE make-up and cosmetics, in one place getting free products, listening to cosmetic icons give master classes, and having the time of their life with their friends. The energy was INSANELY exciting, light, and lively. The DJ was mixing out hit after hit, and you know my hips were not lying honey. I danced and sang myself all around Pullman Yards. And, if you know me, you KNOW that’s my happy place. On the dance floor. My element.

At first, as we went from brand to brand, I thought we were just collecting all the free cosmetics we could get our hands on. However, as the event went on and the lines grew I began to drift into deeper thoughts and concepts to pass the time.

Something about waiting in line for a free perfume at Sol Rio De Janeiro made me think about the blessings and goodness that God has waiting for us. Waiting in long lines will either push you to introspection or lead you to frustration lol 😂 I’ve done many music festivals and I have learned the art of waiting in lines. Long lines are the best place to deep thinking, so I did.

I began reflecting on my heart posture each time I opened my Sephoria 2024 bag when I approached a brand installation.

My heart posture was anticipation, expectation, and excitement. I mean my heart was rejoicing as I approached the brand installation before they even gave me the free products (sometimes handfuls) because I knew (free cosmetics) a blessing was coming. I also reflected on the heart postures of the other make up girlies that were there. Some of them had no sense of shame. They took their own hands and grabbed product without asking and shoved it into their bags. Here I was being modest, trying not to come off needy and “thiefy” HAHA!. While these ladies were literally taking everything that was available to them. LOL. “How many times do you approach the throne of God in meekness, when you say you serve a God of miracles and wonders and has made Himself available to you for the taking?????” I reflected.

Let’s dig a bit deeper into how this event worked. Okay, so each cosmetic brand had members of their team out front waiting for you to come by. As you approached with your open bag in anticipation, they began immediately taking fistfuls, in most cases, of freebies and putting them into your bag. Most times, you weren’t even required to go in the installation. They were waiting out front to give us the goods!

I began to quietly analyze and conceptually dig through my thoughts as I normally do.

“What would happen if you posture your heart towards God like this again, Kasai?”

Wooweeeeeeeeee

Now, some of you may be rolling your eyes. It’s all good. lol. You’re probably thinking girl why are you so deep all the timeeeee. Yall this is how God made me. Also, in my defense, this was an extraordinary weekend for me for reasons we will get into at a later date. But this big weekend was

why my spirit was open and ready to receive the voice of the Lord. I was also fasting at this time. Let’s keep going!

God was like, “Kasai, how dare you approach the “throne” of these beauty brands and strangers expectantly with your heart (Sephoria Bag) wide open to receive their blessings, but when it comes to me you doubt that I’m here for you, your heart isn’t open because of past church hurt and sometimes daughter, let’s be honest you avoid me completely. How dare you?”

Geesh, God. LOL 😂

Not only did this reflection lead me to repentance, but it also stretched the opening of my heart just a little wider.

Something for reflection: How many times do we doubt God’s abilities or for some of us refuse to embrace His existence; yet we quickly trust in the fickle hearts, words, and action of man without second thought. Are we more excited about what man can do than what God can?

Obviously, Sephoria 2024 is an AMAZING event, that I will go back to next year, God willing. I also encourage you to grab your girlies and go in 2025. But geesh, God gifts us the option to live in euphoria with him, in His kingdom daily. Not the Zendaya kind lol.

With the Triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we don’t have to wait once a year to open the Sephoria Bags of our hearts and receive freebies in the form of blessings, provisions, mercy, and eternal life. When we walk with God, and accept Jesus, we are always getting freebies every day. New mercies, provision, grace, protection, salvation, etc.

So now, Sephoria 2024 has come and gone and this very special weekend is over. I can genuinely say that I am so happy that my bestie invited me to this event. It not only blessed me with products but also led to reflection about my heart's posture towards God.

I cannot wait to talk more about my Sephoria 2024 experience. I have a TON of new cosmetics that I cannot wait to show you and I also have deeper faith and understanding that I cannot wait to share.

Trying new things can lead to new ideas, concepts, and deeper reflection. What's something new that you’re trying as we prepare to go into October? Share your experience below.

This month’s post is not suitable for children under the age of 18. Content includes topics and themes surrounding sex, and sexual & physical abuse.

Last month I expressed that I’ve been on a three-year-long journey of slaying my imposter syndrome. If we are honest with ourselves, I believe that we all have this little voice that challenges our self-belief system. Some of us are just better at addressing or silencing that voice than others. If we aren't careful that little fallacious voice becomes an unreliable source of brokenness that we build our lives upon. Our self-belief system begins to operate in a misled cycle of untruths. Churchgoers often call this “the work or voice of the enemy”. Others simply call this doubt. Regardless of what you decide to call it, I believe it is a voice that must be tamed and conquered. Once the root of the lies is addressed and slayed, we are reminded that we are in complete and total possession of our minds.

Lies flutter comparable to butterfly wings

Betwixt imbedded celestial matter

Enclosed in lobes

Deceitful whispers

Nothing changes

Always right here

Prisoner here

Where you belong

Longing

Soul screaming

I’m worth more

There’s got to be more

Bleeding out traumas past

Hammer to hand

Hammer to skull

Hammer to the cell

Assessing the lies

Releasing the cries

Rebuilding the ties

Rebuilding amongst the ruin

Walls of my being

Graffitied with declarations of the broken

Vandalized

Compromised

Unclean

Self-imposed sweet nothings

External bludgeons

Internal bleeding

The absence of recognition

There is a balm

You have it

You hold it

The key

Your key

Guiding self back

Giving self slack

Moving on your path

Sacred gifts unwrapped

Potential untapped

Move baby

Move your body

Move your mind

Move beyond the fears inside

Move for liberty

Move for joy

Your key

Unlock the cell

Anointed truths to tell

Demonic spirits repelled

Move baby

Pick up your feet

Take up your sword

Move baby

Keep Moving

11 year old me randomly walked into the living room as the bedroom scene of Pa and Celie played on the 90’s big-backed television screen. Completely traumatized, I vowed to never watch or read The Color Purple, like ever. Years would go by and of course, I’d catch random clips of Shuge Avery’s “Sistaaaaaaa'' musical performance or Sophia punching the white man on screen. I’d immediately change the channel. I had decided that it would be too uncomfortable and that it was unnecessary. Of course as a theater and show choir kid, I also heard Cynthia Enrivo’s incredible rendition of “I’m Here”. I fell in love with the song but honored my vow to never watch the film or read the book. The song was so incredibly powerful that I reasoned that I could enjoy it without forcing myself to watch the film.

It wasn’t until Christmas Day 2023, that I watched The Color Purple for the first time. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into, and the impact that the film would have on me. The combination of my immense intrigue of the dynamic cast of actors, and my embedded desire to never disappoint my mother, led me to make a choice that would end my decades-long vow. She had bought the tickets for us in advance and requested that we attend the movie screening as a family. I was so nervous. No one wants to watch sex scenes in the presence of their parents, especially not scenes of sexual assault. I was dreading it and all I could think about was how awkward it would be for me.

This blog is my sacred space and I will be honest and transparent here. This honesty is my truth. It is a part of my journey and I understand how sharing these truths can positively impact the healing of others. This is a safe space. You are not judged here. There is no shame here.

Let’s Go!

Despite the years of hurt, abuse, and disappointment, Celie found a way to keep moving. The film depicted a young barely teenage girl who had birthed two children by who she thought was her father. She had been forcefully separated from her two children and was then forced to marry a devil man named Mister. While Celie is a fictional character, I did take a film and literature course in high school and college. This course moved me to explore the deeper meaning of character development in films and productions that I consume.

I went on to digest and truly think about the mental capacity that it would take to wake up each morning after experiencing the abuse, abandonment, and gut-wrenching loss that Celie did. She was told so many untruths along her journey that began to dictate her self-belief system. Not knowing whether her children or sister were dead or alive, and being physically abused for years by a man who forced her to mother his children would cause even the strongest deep emotional and intellectual damage and pain.

We saw Celie begin to age on screen. As time went on throughout the film, we saw her crushed spirit become her norm. A lack of self-belief and a lack of motivation plagued her. She rarely left the house. She never made herself up. And she seemed to only cater to the care of her abusive and controlling husband, Mister. Yes, she was clothed and had a roof over her head, but her home seemed more like a prison cell of turmoil and despair. She found a way to keep moving but did not address her trauma.

We can become so consumed with life that we are so focused on moving forward and being okay, that we don't take the time to truly address the root cause of our dissatisfaction. Sometimes keeping it moving and going on with life becomes the hyper-focus of our lives that we forget that we have trauma to address in the first place. I would like to encourage you to take the time to keep moving in a way that addresses the needs of your soul.

Taking the time to decipher what direction you're moving in and why you're driven to head that way can be so useful. Before we can keep moving, we must do the work to address the source of our being and do the “work” to ensure we are in the mental capacity to keep moving in the first place.

My healing work looked like completing years of therapy, prayer, surrender to my creator, and self-acceptance that everything in my life was allowed by God for the greater good of my purpose. My work to be able to keep moving included releasing anger, sadness, and shame. My work included operating in forgiveness and implementing meditation.

If you are anything like me when I started my own self-love, self-care, and self-discovery journey, you may be thinking that this is a load of unrealistic theories that don't apply to real-life situations. I respect that and I hear you.

How do we keep moving when our hearts are broken and our souls are in turmoil?

How do you keep moving when you lose a child, a parent, or someone you loved dearly?

How do you keep moving when you're suffering from homelessness?

How do you keep moving when your bank account is in the negative and you can’t pay your bills?

How do you keep moving when you find yourself amidst bombs and genocide?

How do you keep moving when your partner or spouse cheats on you?

How do you keep moving when… fill in your circumstance….

Well, I am not a licensed therapist. I don't pretend to have all of the answers but I do have something to offer here if you are interested. Take what you need

Here are my “Five Recommendations To Keep Moving Even When It Hurts”:

1.Therapy and Counseling: I encourage seeking professional help from therapists who specialize in trauma. Therapy offers a safe space to explore feelings, develop coping mechanisms, and learn valuable tools to manage trauma's impact on daily life. Many therapists offer online sessions, making it accessible and convenient for college students and post-graduates with busy schedules.

2. Mindfulness and Meditation: I encourage you to consider introducing mindfulness practices to help cultivate awareness of thoughts and emotions without judgment. Meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can aid in reducing stress, anxiety, and symptoms related to trauma. If time isn't on your side, there are plenty of apps and online resources available, making it easy to incorporate mindfulness into daily routines.

3. Creative Expression: I encourage you to tap back into creative outlets such as writing, art, music, or dance as a means of self-expression and processing emotions. Swimming at the YMCA three times a week saved my life. Find a creative expression that works for you. Journaling thoughts and feelings, painting, playing an instrument, or dancing can serve as therapeutic tools for releasing pent-up emotions and gaining clarity during the healing journey.

4. Connection and Support: I know first hand that fostering connections with supportive friends, family members, support groups, or community organizations who can provide empathy, validation, and understanding is crucial. Sharing experiences with others who have gone through similar challenges can offer a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation. Online communities and forums can also be valuable resources for finding support and camaraderie.

5. Self-Care Practices: Last but certainly not least, I’d like to emphasize the importance of self-care routines that prioritize physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Participating in consistent activities such as regular exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and engaging in hobbies or activities that bring joy and relaxation. Setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and practicing self-compassion are also vital components of self-care during the healing process.

At the end of The Color Purple Film, we saw Celie reunited with her children, and we were able to experience the impeccable Fantasia Barrino perform the soul-inspiring song “I’m Here”. This song famously proclaims the lyrics, “I’m gonna take a deep breath, I’m gonna hold my head up, I’’m gonna put my shoulders back and look you straight in the eye.” I want to encourage all of my readers to take this approach when it comes to facing the painful or simply challenging circumstances in their life that may try to hold them back from their ability to keep moving.

Take a deep breath and begin addressing your life circumstances straight forward. Using the five tips provided tonight, I believe you will accomplish incredibly great things within and for yourself. I believe in you. I know that you can do this.

Keep Moving.

Kasai Marie