We exist as individuals in a world full of billions of different people. Each of us occupying our own set of characteristics and processes of thought. Even with these remarkably unique aspects of ourselves, we are created to be communal. We are created to dwell in relationship with one another.
Even as a millennial, I’ve watched a significant amount of my relationships completely shift in a new direction, end and begin. I have resolved the understanding that I am in relationship with every living thing, every organism. Isn’t it interesting that when the word “relationships” is mentioned, we usually think of a romantic one? False. You’re in relationship with your boss, your relatives, the person you cut off in traffic last week and even your pet. During this millennial stage of my life, I have found it most beneficial to shift my focus entirely on the responsibilities and daily contributions that arise within the relationship with myself. I don’t believe there is an order to this that one must follow, but it has helped me to completely tunnel vision my focus in the last three years solely on my relationship with Kasai. Coincidentally, I’ve discovered a deeper understanding of my role in all of my other relationships. There’s no question that this deeper understanding sprouted from my choice to monogamously date me for awhile. No, I’m not an island, but my contributions to my other relationships have evened out beautifully only after I sought to rekindle a healthy relationship with self. Maybe your relationship with you is just fine, that’s a beautiful thing! But this month I encourage you to refocus your energy on how to take your self love and knowledge of self to the next level.
Recognition. Do you recognize your spirit? Do you recognize yourself? Do you feel out of touch with reality? Right before I left Ohio, I grew tired of constantly looking in the mirror and not being engaged with me. Eye to eye with me, yet looking past the depths of my glory. My life was changing rapidly, and it had so many moving parts that I hadn’t even realized that I was so disengaged with Kasai. Going through the motions, ignoring the emotions.
“Feet planted
Reflection present
Pupils peering back at me
Spirit screaming out to me
It’s me, it’s me
See me, feel me?”
Who am I? Sometimes our life experiences cloud our ability to answer this question without the lies of the enemy seeping through. HIs lies are like black mold over taking a beautiful place of refuge if we allow it. The mind is truly a battlefield. We can all fall victim to the negative thoughts that keep us from true self recognition. Instead of asking, “Who I am?” I had to change the question to, “Who does God say I am?”. This is where my true identity rebirthed and emerged from what Beth Moore describes as, “the ancient ruins”.
Slowly but surely the truths about who I am, because God said so began to resurface. One of the first beautiful truths was that resolution and peace from the ancient ruins of my past are both accessible to me. There is a peace that surpasses all understanding that is available to us, no matter the severity of our faults and imperfections. I disengaged from certain aspects of me that I wasn't proud of. Experiences that if I were to relive them in my thoughts, would bring back the pain of those moments. But, after the pain comes the peace. The best part is that peace is free a readily available! GO GET YOUR PEACE.
“And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds
in Christ Jesus”
I made the choice to obtain a degree in Human Development and Family Studies because of my desire to understand how people become There’s this ongoing conversation about nature vs. nurture as it pertains to development in children and adolescents, but research has show that our upbringings reveal so much about the human beings we become. I’m aware that some experiences in childhood directly affected the choices I made in adolescents.However, I am not the girl I was in highschool or in college. I am a completely different woman. We evolve. THANK GOD! We can have unshakable confidence in this because God said so.It’s pretty simple. I am a new and beautiful creation in Christ. God calls me new, and he sees me new. There is no need to fear the approval of man when God is the only and ultimate approval that matters.
“So then, if anyone is in Christ,
he is a new creation;
what is old has passed away—look,
what is new has come!”
“For you have died
and your life is hidden with Christ
in God”
For so long I allowed the fear of judgement to keep me from acknowledging the parts of my past that had once held me in bondage. Today, I know that fear is a lie of the enemy and facing the ancient ruins of my past, is what led me to my rebirth in Christ. We cannot know self, without acknowledging the things about ourselves that we don’t like, or we wished would have never happened. I also had to realize the EVERYONE has those things that they have done in the dark that they pray never actually come to the light. Guess what? God already knows. Talk about a spoiler alert. In fact, the bible goes even further to explain that he knows every good and bad thing that has already happened. There’s nothing that we can keep from him. He knows about that, and yep he knows about that too. The incredibly mind blowing part is that he STILL loves us. He loves you. It’s an amazing love that changes your life. Not only am I not who I used to be, but my life is hidden in Christ.
Acceptance of self. I have significance, and God wants to use me. Despite it all, each of us have a purpose that we can be sure of. God begins a work in each of us. He calls us his workmanship. He literally takes the time to work on us and with us for a specific purpose in this life, for his glory. This reveals that we have a purpose that’s definitely worth waking up in the morning. It’s worth going through the process of healing.
These truths that God used to restore my relationship with self, have been rediscovered beautifully. Though it has sometimes felt like my skin was being peeled off layer by layer. This relationship has had its incredible moments of earth shaking joy, and I am confident that there are more of those amazing moments ahead. Truth be told some of the revelations have hurt and some have felt so incredibly good. I’m enjoying courting me. I’m enjoying the journey of dating Kasai and who God says she is. Everyday of my life is not perfect. But I begin everyday with a grateful heart. The journey continues, but God is faithful and always provides the strength to see another day.
“For we are his workmanship,
having been created in Christ Jesus
for good works that God prepared beforehand
so we may do them”
September is here! Fall is on it’s way, and it’s my favorite time of the year. The leaves will soon begin to change. Plants will begin their transition in preparation for a new season to come. It’s also a beautiful time to begin, or continue your season of focusing on the relationship with yourself. I challenge you, as I have challenged myself to do the things that may bring you temporary pain, but will more importantly, result in your healing. If you’ve been putting off the journey of seeking counselling, make up your mind this month to face those temporary painful moments, with confidence knowing that they only bring forth opportunities for peace.If you’ve been feeling this pull to learn more about Christ, or get find a church, take the steps to do it. Finding a church can be like shopping for the right little black dress. But when you're led by the holy spirit, you’re in more than good hands. If you live in the triangle come out to the Summit Church! Regardless, of where this month takes you, you’re worth the journey and the peace is so rewarding. I lift my mug of lemon ginger tea to you as I nurse a sore throat, cheers to your new relationship, your relationship with yourself.
Kasai Marie